Daylights & Sunsets
Welcome guys!
My name's Kendra!
I'm 18. I love to write!
I also sketch and do photography and play the french horn (:
Thanks for checking out my blog.
If you have the time, check out my other blogs listed to the right.
Thanks and have an amazing day. God bless! <3
I'm 18. I love to write!
I also sketch and do photography and play the french horn (:
Thanks for checking out my blog.
If you have the time, check out my other blogs listed to the right.
Thanks and have an amazing day. God bless! <3
Friday, April 13, 2012
What a day so far
It's been kinda rough cause I didn't get much sleep last night. Stayed up late arguing, as usual. That's going to change when I go off to college at least (: Hopefully by then I'll have this whole love triangle thing sorted out. But anyways, had to wake up early to take my shower. So I'm running pretty low on energy, though I'll get hyped up later (; But I messed things up with a friend. We had made plans to go to a dance, but I honestly didn't want to go. I went because I didn't have anything else to do and I told her so. But as the dance got closer and closer, my anxiety about it increased. I knew I wasn't going to have any fun there. So I told her some other plans from before and come up and I really wasn't interested in going. I know that's kind of low. I know I could have handled it better. I do feel really bad. I asked for her forgiveness and she hasn't replied. I understand her point too about me canceling last minute, but I wish she would understand. It's not my forte. Urgh. And then another friend of mine was giving me crap over the stupidest littlest things. I don't know. It just feels like everyone was out to get me an hour or so ago. Things have calmed down and everything, but now I have a headache. Blech! I hope it goes away soon and I'll have a fun night at least without this stress.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
So much...
for blogging a lot.
Oh well. Better late than never.
A lot has changed. A LOT.
Well I'm basically addicted to my guy friends. I would be lost without them (:
Austin keeps me sane. I got to catch up with him over spring break. It was nice. Just to get to talk about college and jobs and books. He has such a kind soul. Tom and I were going to hang out, but that never worked out. That one boy and I have been fighting a lot. It's been rough. I care a lot about him, but it's honestly killing me. I can't handle all the stress and anxiety is causes. It's gotten to the point that I kind of am getting sick of talking to him so much. I don't know. I love him. I always will. He's my best friend. It's just...I have to take care of myself. I have to. And well Jonah (: Uhm, we're grown a lot closer. Like really super dooper close. I don't know what I'd do without him. We talk everyday, a lot of it. He calls me everynight before we go to bed. Just to talk. And we hang out a lot. I love hanging out with him even when we have nothing to do or when what we do I really don't like. I just love being around him. It's like home. But I just have some flaws with him that are keeping me from making it official. And well, I don't think I'm in a good emotional state right now. I don't want my burdens to become his. But he's an amazing guy. He gave me the most adorable card telling me how happy he is that I'm in his life and that he loves me. I write him cute little notes that almost make him cry..almost (; I can't tell you how many times I've cried in front of this kid. Seriously. I love him. I may regret writing this at some point. But I do. I love him. I love being around him. I love the person he is. I just love everything...well almost everything...about him. He pushes me to be a better person. I know a lot of the times it drives me crazy, but oh well. I know he just means well. I have a lot of insecurities to work through. I have a lot of self-help that I need.
But college is looking great. I'm going to dorm with Lydia and two other girls. Woot woot! I'm excited. I can't wait. Though, I really am going to miss Jonah. We'll how that all goes. But I have to follow this path. And if I'm supposed to be with Jonah, then it'll work out. Karen and I are better. We worked things out. I'm just so busy all the time for her.
And well, my faith is falling apart. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too ashamed to admit it to any of my Christain friends either.
Spring break was awesome. Had some amazing nights (; Got pulled over but the cop let me off with a warning. Thank God!
And now back to school tomorrow : P
Oh well. Better late than never.
A lot has changed. A LOT.
Well I'm basically addicted to my guy friends. I would be lost without them (:
Austin keeps me sane. I got to catch up with him over spring break. It was nice. Just to get to talk about college and jobs and books. He has such a kind soul. Tom and I were going to hang out, but that never worked out. That one boy and I have been fighting a lot. It's been rough. I care a lot about him, but it's honestly killing me. I can't handle all the stress and anxiety is causes. It's gotten to the point that I kind of am getting sick of talking to him so much. I don't know. I love him. I always will. He's my best friend. It's just...I have to take care of myself. I have to. And well Jonah (: Uhm, we're grown a lot closer. Like really super dooper close. I don't know what I'd do without him. We talk everyday, a lot of it. He calls me everynight before we go to bed. Just to talk. And we hang out a lot. I love hanging out with him even when we have nothing to do or when what we do I really don't like. I just love being around him. It's like home. But I just have some flaws with him that are keeping me from making it official. And well, I don't think I'm in a good emotional state right now. I don't want my burdens to become his. But he's an amazing guy. He gave me the most adorable card telling me how happy he is that I'm in his life and that he loves me. I write him cute little notes that almost make him cry..almost (; I can't tell you how many times I've cried in front of this kid. Seriously. I love him. I may regret writing this at some point. But I do. I love him. I love being around him. I love the person he is. I just love everything...well almost everything...about him. He pushes me to be a better person. I know a lot of the times it drives me crazy, but oh well. I know he just means well. I have a lot of insecurities to work through. I have a lot of self-help that I need.
But college is looking great. I'm going to dorm with Lydia and two other girls. Woot woot! I'm excited. I can't wait. Though, I really am going to miss Jonah. We'll how that all goes. But I have to follow this path. And if I'm supposed to be with Jonah, then it'll work out. Karen and I are better. We worked things out. I'm just so busy all the time for her.
And well, my faith is falling apart. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too ashamed to admit it to any of my Christain friends either.
Spring break was awesome. Had some amazing nights (; Got pulled over but the cop let me off with a warning. Thank God!
And now back to school tomorrow : P
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Hello!
It's been quite a while.
My bad!
I'm going to try to get back into blogging. I miss it. I miss writing in general. Well, I'm almost done with high school. Less than 100 days! Double woot! It's been an interesting year. It's been full of a variety of challenges and inner changes I wasn't expecting.
Anyways, stayed home sick. I'm hoping to feel better by tomorrow because I have some plans. I get to see my bud, Jonah, hopefully ( : I miss that kid. And I'm still worried about Derek. He won't tell me about what's going on, at all. Which just leaves my imagination up to its crafty work. All I can do is pray for God to heal him. He really is too young. He has such spirit left in him and I can see him going really far in life chasing his dreams.
I feel like my mind is exploading with all this stuff going on. McKayla is pregnant again with little
Deegan, but there's complications. Sarah is going through tough times like usual, but I can't seem to get through to her. Karen and I have drifted apart and I can't be the friend she needs anymore. \
But it's not all bad ( :
I have Jonah now. And seriously, he keeps me on track. I don't know what I'd do without him. Austin is also a great motivator of mine. I love how he and I got out to lunch at least once a week and just talk. It's great. Tyler is always there too. Whether is be for some friendly venting or just filling time. McKayla of course is always there, but her life is just so hectic. I miss her dearly, but I know God has some amazing plans in store for her (: And of course I've got Jake. My rock, my foundation. My everything practically. I don't know where I'd be without him. We talk everyday, all day long. I fall asleep to him. He's my light at the end of the tunnel. My hope! And well, Lydia. She's practically my sister now it feels like. Since I've lost almost all connections with my old close girl friends, she's all I've got left. And I absolutely adore her. She's so real and down to earth. She inspires me to be a better person, a better Christian.
It's crazy how my friends have changed from last year. But I just know that that's all in God's will.
I trust his plans for me (:
My bad!
I'm going to try to get back into blogging. I miss it. I miss writing in general. Well, I'm almost done with high school. Less than 100 days! Double woot! It's been an interesting year. It's been full of a variety of challenges and inner changes I wasn't expecting.
Anyways, stayed home sick. I'm hoping to feel better by tomorrow because I have some plans. I get to see my bud, Jonah, hopefully ( : I miss that kid. And I'm still worried about Derek. He won't tell me about what's going on, at all. Which just leaves my imagination up to its crafty work. All I can do is pray for God to heal him. He really is too young. He has such spirit left in him and I can see him going really far in life chasing his dreams.
I feel like my mind is exploading with all this stuff going on. McKayla is pregnant again with little
Deegan, but there's complications. Sarah is going through tough times like usual, but I can't seem to get through to her. Karen and I have drifted apart and I can't be the friend she needs anymore. \
But it's not all bad ( :
I have Jonah now. And seriously, he keeps me on track. I don't know what I'd do without him. Austin is also a great motivator of mine. I love how he and I got out to lunch at least once a week and just talk. It's great. Tyler is always there too. Whether is be for some friendly venting or just filling time. McKayla of course is always there, but her life is just so hectic. I miss her dearly, but I know God has some amazing plans in store for her (: And of course I've got Jake. My rock, my foundation. My everything practically. I don't know where I'd be without him. We talk everyday, all day long. I fall asleep to him. He's my light at the end of the tunnel. My hope! And well, Lydia. She's practically my sister now it feels like. Since I've lost almost all connections with my old close girl friends, she's all I've got left. And I absolutely adore her. She's so real and down to earth. She inspires me to be a better person, a better Christian.
It's crazy how my friends have changed from last year. But I just know that that's all in God's will.
I trust his plans for me (:
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Summmmmmer
Drove up to spend the day with my mom in Denver.
It's been nice getting a break from her. I do love her, but sometimes we just need some space from our parents. Now that doesn't mean we haven't been in contact. Trust me, she's made sure of that (;
I went up and hung out with her and the animals. We watched some Dr. Phil, commented about the people. Had some good talks about relationships and love and even weddings hehe.Then we went shopping at a nearby outdoor mall, not an outlet mall! There is a difference! I was dead set on getting a shirt. I haven't botten one since before school ended. It's been a while, and it's summer! I'm not one of those girls that HAS to have new closes for fashion and all that shit. Nah, that's not me at all. I just like to look pretty. Not for anyone else, just for me. It's a confidence thing. Maybe it sounds shallow, but I have no problem admitting it. Hey, I'm honest at least. But I am still a girl, so I do enjoy getting new clothes. What I do not enjoy is spending the money on it. So unfotunately that limits my spending. I went to all the typical stores: American Eagle, Hot Topic, and a bunch of little shops. And I finally found a shirt on sale that I wanted. Nonetheless at a little unheard of shop called Tibby...I think haha. Then I we had dinner at PF Chang's. Now you have to understand, I haven't been there since I was a little kid. So pretty much it was my first time going there. I had no idea what the sauce table thing they brought was and had to ask for the waitress to explain it. Well we got some crab wantons, which were...actually crab. Whenever I have crab wantons, it's usually cheese. So that was surprising. The crispy honey chicken was alright. Nothing special. So overall, I wasn't too impressed with it all. Maybe I just had the wrong items. It happens. I drove home jamming out to some nice beat music. The cops were all over the road. It's not even the end of the month yet, guys! You shouldn't be worried about your quota quite yet.
My friend and I are going to read the bible together. I'm really excited. It's really important to me that I'm going to do this. And to share this with him, ah...it's really special. He's already read it, so it'll be a good refresher for him. And well, I really need to read it! Plus I'll have his deep interpretations to think about. It'll be very nice ( :
It's been nice getting a break from her. I do love her, but sometimes we just need some space from our parents. Now that doesn't mean we haven't been in contact. Trust me, she's made sure of that (;
I went up and hung out with her and the animals. We watched some Dr. Phil, commented about the people. Had some good talks about relationships and love and even weddings hehe.Then we went shopping at a nearby outdoor mall, not an outlet mall! There is a difference! I was dead set on getting a shirt. I haven't botten one since before school ended. It's been a while, and it's summer! I'm not one of those girls that HAS to have new closes for fashion and all that shit. Nah, that's not me at all. I just like to look pretty. Not for anyone else, just for me. It's a confidence thing. Maybe it sounds shallow, but I have no problem admitting it. Hey, I'm honest at least. But I am still a girl, so I do enjoy getting new clothes. What I do not enjoy is spending the money on it. So unfotunately that limits my spending. I went to all the typical stores: American Eagle, Hot Topic, and a bunch of little shops. And I finally found a shirt on sale that I wanted. Nonetheless at a little unheard of shop called Tibby...I think haha. Then I we had dinner at PF Chang's. Now you have to understand, I haven't been there since I was a little kid. So pretty much it was my first time going there. I had no idea what the sauce table thing they brought was and had to ask for the waitress to explain it. Well we got some crab wantons, which were...actually crab. Whenever I have crab wantons, it's usually cheese. So that was surprising. The crispy honey chicken was alright. Nothing special. So overall, I wasn't too impressed with it all. Maybe I just had the wrong items. It happens. I drove home jamming out to some nice beat music. The cops were all over the road. It's not even the end of the month yet, guys! You shouldn't be worried about your quota quite yet.
My friend and I are going to read the bible together. I'm really excited. It's really important to me that I'm going to do this. And to share this with him, ah...it's really special. He's already read it, so it'll be a good refresher for him. And well, I really need to read it! Plus I'll have his deep interpretations to think about. It'll be very nice ( :
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
It's Been A While
It's not summer. Just got done with a 3 day mini band camp. I'm tiredddd. There's just been a lot going on recently. Physically and emotionally, I'm drained. Tomorrow, I finally get to rest and sleep in. Nothing planned except some volunteer. I might get some extra hours at the shelter. Who knows. And emotionally, I don't know. Summer's suppose to be the best time, right? I just feel like I'm in a slump during it. Blech. I don't really know what else to write right now.
Overall, things have been great.
I've got something special with special boy (:
My best friend had her baby, and hey, I'm now a godmother!
I caught up with my ex. I think things are finally better between us.
It's summer, I just need to go out there and do what I love!
Well, I'll try to be better about this haha
Overall, things have been great.
I've got something special with special boy (:
My best friend had her baby, and hey, I'm now a godmother!
I caught up with my ex. I think things are finally better between us.
It's summer, I just need to go out there and do what I love!
Well, I'll try to be better about this haha
Monday, February 28, 2011
Soooo Behind
That's what happens when you're sick all week. I missed a math test, two anatomy tests, and a spanish test. This coming week, the schedules are so effed up. It's going to be such a pain to figure out how to catch up. I started to work on my math test today. I did one page of the calculator part xD So not really anything lol. The anatomy I have to come in for before school. FML. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! Why don't my teachers understand that. There's a district in my state that offers night schools. I really wish I went there instead. They have class from 3:30 - 9:30. That would work perfectly for me. Perfectly. And my spanish, haha.What a joke. So I've got all that to make up, plus upcoming tests this week. I'm going to miss my history for a band competition. Great. Just another thing to make up. And I had this HUGE packet of question for English. 60 something to be exact haha. I got through over half of it, but it was ridiculous. All the quesitons required in dept answers. Blech! Stupid school. A little over a year and I'll be done! Well, with high school. Thank God!
Well on top of everything that's been going on, I had an amazing night tonight. I went to my youth group again. I've been once this entire semester, when I normally go every week. I've just had so much going on that I couldn't avoid. I had lessons with my friend that were scheduled during that time. Then I had band concerts. But I went again today.
You have to realize I've been fighting with my faith a lot recently. So I haven't been to church lately. Probably not since I started on my reckless faze. That started back in January when all I wanted to do was stupid shit like party and get wasted. I started drinking more. Not doing what I was suppose to. Sneaking out all the time. And I stopped going to church. I lost all desire for it. I felt that I was happier without that in my life. That this lifestyle could bring me all the happiness I needed. I've learned recently thought that it doesn't. It's fun, but it gets old fast. And the people I'm around, I can't stand. Yet the people in my youth group. Those people are truly amazing.
I love my youth group. I feel loved there. I feel welcome there. I don't have to be anyone. Do anything in particular. I don't have to say the "right" things. Do the "right" things. Look the "right" way. I can be me. And they love me, for me. I can't explain how vital it is to be in an environment like that. But nothing compares. Nothing.
So I went back, not really wanting to go. I went throught that faze and lost connection with my faith. And inevitably, everything that connected me with these people. But I went anyway because there's this bond I have there. It's another home. I know I belong there. I can't explain it, but I belong with these people. They're my family. I went back not feeling quite comfortable. Whenever I tried to say something, it just didn't come out right. My friend Dan kept encouraging me though. Telling me to speak up. Well we had an amazing lesson, on just two verses. Two! It really brought me back to my faith. Why I love this religion. How it guides me.
And the family that supports me, I forgot how much I needed them. How much I loved them. They're each perfect to me. Every single one of them. Tina. Sarah. Rex. Zach. Grace. Danielle. Kaity. David. John. and Dan. All of them. I love them (:
And I love the way they care for me. How they love me. How they genuinely smile when they see me.
And how they love God. It inspires me. They're my role models. Truly.
God is love.
Well on top of everything that's been going on, I had an amazing night tonight. I went to my youth group again. I've been once this entire semester, when I normally go every week. I've just had so much going on that I couldn't avoid. I had lessons with my friend that were scheduled during that time. Then I had band concerts. But I went again today.
You have to realize I've been fighting with my faith a lot recently. So I haven't been to church lately. Probably not since I started on my reckless faze. That started back in January when all I wanted to do was stupid shit like party and get wasted. I started drinking more. Not doing what I was suppose to. Sneaking out all the time. And I stopped going to church. I lost all desire for it. I felt that I was happier without that in my life. That this lifestyle could bring me all the happiness I needed. I've learned recently thought that it doesn't. It's fun, but it gets old fast. And the people I'm around, I can't stand. Yet the people in my youth group. Those people are truly amazing.
I love my youth group. I feel loved there. I feel welcome there. I don't have to be anyone. Do anything in particular. I don't have to say the "right" things. Do the "right" things. Look the "right" way. I can be me. And they love me, for me. I can't explain how vital it is to be in an environment like that. But nothing compares. Nothing.
So I went back, not really wanting to go. I went throught that faze and lost connection with my faith. And inevitably, everything that connected me with these people. But I went anyway because there's this bond I have there. It's another home. I know I belong there. I can't explain it, but I belong with these people. They're my family. I went back not feeling quite comfortable. Whenever I tried to say something, it just didn't come out right. My friend Dan kept encouraging me though. Telling me to speak up. Well we had an amazing lesson, on just two verses. Two! It really brought me back to my faith. Why I love this religion. How it guides me.
And the family that supports me, I forgot how much I needed them. How much I loved them. They're each perfect to me. Every single one of them. Tina. Sarah. Rex. Zach. Grace. Danielle. Kaity. David. John. and Dan. All of them. I love them (:
And I love the way they care for me. How they love me. How they genuinely smile when they see me.
And how they love God. It inspires me. They're my role models. Truly.
God is love.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Week Three : P
Well I just realized looking through my blog that week three of that challenge started yesterday. Obviously this week isn't going to be that effective. Anyways, the challenges are:
1. Plan your meals and workouts for the week now. Schedule the times you're going to workout as well.
2.Bring lunch everyday. With the money you say, treat yourself (;
Anyways, last week....that didn't really happen much. I can't really use being sick as an excuse because that was only at the end of the week, Friday night and on. But yeah. lol
1. Plan your meals and workouts for the week now. Schedule the times you're going to workout as well.
2.Bring lunch everyday. With the money you say, treat yourself (;
Anyways, last week....that didn't really happen much. I can't really use being sick as an excuse because that was only at the end of the week, Friday night and on. But yeah. lol
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