Welcome guys!

My name's Kendra!
I'm 18. I love to write!
I also sketch and do photography and play the french horn (:

Thanks for checking out my blog.
If you have the time, check out my other blogs listed to the right.
Thanks and have an amazing day. God bless! <3

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Summmmmmer

Drove up to spend the day with my mom in Denver.
It's been nice getting a break from her. I do love her, but sometimes we just need some space from our parents. Now that doesn't mean we haven't been in contact. Trust me, she's made sure of that (;
I went up and hung out with her and the animals. We watched some Dr. Phil, commented about the people. Had some good talks about relationships and love and even weddings hehe.Then we went shopping at a nearby outdoor mall, not an outlet mall! There is a difference! I was dead set on getting a shirt. I haven't botten one since before school ended. It's been a while, and it's summer! I'm not one of those girls that HAS to have new closes for fashion and all that shit. Nah, that's not me at all. I just like to look pretty. Not for anyone else, just for me. It's a confidence thing. Maybe it sounds shallow, but I have no problem admitting it. Hey, I'm honest at least. But I am still a girl, so I do enjoy getting new clothes. What I do not enjoy is spending the money on it. So unfotunately that limits my spending. I went to all the typical stores: American Eagle, Hot Topic, and a bunch of little shops. And I finally found a shirt on sale that I wanted. Nonetheless at a little unheard of shop called Tibby...I think haha. Then I we had dinner at PF Chang's. Now you have to understand, I haven't been there since I was a little kid. So pretty much it was my first time going there. I had no idea what the sauce table thing they brought was and had to ask for the waitress to explain it. Well we got some crab wantons, which were...actually crab. Whenever I have crab wantons, it's usually cheese. So that was surprising. The crispy honey chicken was alright. Nothing special. So overall, I wasn't too impressed with it all. Maybe I just had the wrong items. It happens. I drove home jamming out to some nice beat music. The cops were all over the road. It's not even the end of the month yet, guys! You shouldn't be worried about your quota quite yet.
My friend and I are going to read the bible together. I'm really excited. It's really important to me that I'm going to do this. And to share this with him, ah...it's really special. He's already read it, so it'll be a good refresher for him. And well, I really need to read it! Plus I'll have his deep interpretations to think about. It'll be very nice ( :

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It's Been A While

It's not summer. Just got done with a 3 day mini band camp. I'm tiredddd. There's just been a lot going on recently. Physically and emotionally, I'm drained. Tomorrow, I finally get to rest and sleep in. Nothing planned except some volunteer. I might get some extra hours at the shelter. Who knows. And emotionally, I don't know. Summer's suppose to be the best time, right? I just feel like I'm in a slump during it. Blech. I don't really know what else to write right now.
Overall, things have been great.
I've got something special with special boy (:
My best friend had her baby, and hey, I'm now a godmother!
I caught up with my ex. I think things are finally better between us.
It's summer, I just need to go out there and do what I love!

Well, I'll try to be better about this haha

Monday, February 28, 2011

Soooo Behind

That's what happens when you're sick all week. I missed a math test, two anatomy tests, and a spanish test. This coming week, the schedules are so effed up. It's going to be such a pain to figure out how to catch up. I started to work on my math test today. I did one page of the calculator part xD So not really anything lol.  The anatomy I have to come in for before school. FML. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! Why don't my teachers understand that. There's a district in my state that offers night schools. I really wish I went there instead. They have class from 3:30 - 9:30. That would work perfectly for me. Perfectly. And my spanish, haha.What a joke. So I've got all that to make up, plus upcoming tests this week. I'm going to miss my history for a band competition. Great. Just another thing to make up. And I had this HUGE packet of question for English. 60 something to be exact haha. I got through over half of it, but it was ridiculous. All the quesitons required in dept answers. Blech! Stupid school. A little over a year and I'll be done! Well, with high school. Thank God!
Well on top of everything that's been going on, I had an amazing night tonight. I went to my youth group again. I've been once this entire semester, when I normally go every week. I've just had so much going on that I couldn't avoid. I had lessons with my friend that were scheduled during that time. Then I had band concerts. But I went again today.
You have to realize I've been fighting with my faith a lot recently. So I haven't been to church lately. Probably not since I started on my reckless faze. That started back in January when all I wanted to do was stupid shit like party and get wasted. I started drinking more. Not doing what I was suppose to. Sneaking out all the time. And I stopped going to church. I lost all desire for it. I felt that I was happier without that in my life. That this lifestyle could bring me all the happiness I needed. I've learned recently thought that it doesn't. It's fun, but it gets old fast. And the people I'm around, I can't stand. Yet the people in my youth group. Those people are truly amazing.
I love my youth group. I feel loved there. I feel welcome there. I don't have to be anyone. Do anything in particular. I don't have to say the "right" things. Do the "right" things. Look the "right" way. I can be me. And they love me, for me. I can't explain how vital it is to be in an environment like that. But nothing compares. Nothing.
So I went back, not really wanting to go. I went throught that faze and lost connection with my faith. And inevitably, everything that connected me with these people. But I went anyway because there's this bond I have there. It's another home. I know I belong there. I can't explain it, but I belong with these people. They're my family. I went back not feeling quite comfortable. Whenever I tried to say something, it just didn't come out right. My friend Dan kept encouraging me though. Telling me to speak up. Well we had an amazing lesson, on just two verses. Two! It really brought me back to my faith. Why I love this religion. How it guides me.
And the family that supports me, I forgot how much I needed them. How much I loved them. They're each perfect to me. Every single one of them. Tina. Sarah. Rex. Zach. Grace. Danielle. Kaity. David. John. and Dan. All of them. I love them (:
And I love the way they care for me. How they love me. How they genuinely smile when they see me.

And how they love God. It inspires me. They're my role models. Truly.

God is love.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Week Three : P

Well I just realized looking through my blog that week three of that challenge started yesterday. Obviously this week isn't going to be that effective. Anyways, the challenges are:
1. Plan your meals and workouts for the week now. Schedule the times you're going to workout as well.
2.Bring lunch everyday. With the money you say, treat yourself (;

Anyways, last week....that didn't really happen much. I can't really use being sick as an excuse because that was only at the end of the week, Friday night and on. But yeah. lol

Flu, I knew it

So I went to the doctor yesterday after waking up with a fever of 104.6. Yeah, that's not good at all. I went and they did several tests and found out I have the flu. So, that's my luck. An hour after I told my friend, she start complaining about being sore and having a headache. Whatever. She didn't go to school today because she had a fever of 100.5. Come on, girl. When you get a 104.6, then you can complain to me. It's just frustrating. I understand she could have caught it from me since we're always together, but she makes such a big deal out of it. I don't think she realizes it, but it feels like she's always striving for attention. I can't explain, but she drives me crazy lol. Well I'm suppose to have a concert tomorrow, I don't know how that's going to work out. My fever has stayed down today, but I've felt icky the whole. I probably could go to school. It would suck, but I could do it if I had to. The thing is, I don't want to get others sick. So I'm kind of in a predicament.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Blech

I've gotten pretty sick. When I saw Justin Bieber Never Say Never (and yes, my friend did drag me to that xD), I started feel a little iffy. I checked when I got home and I had a fever. Well my friend then called me and told me he ran out of gas. I'm not going to say I can't help him. So I went and did that. I didn't take a jacket, which was stupid of me. But when do I ever submit to the weather? lol So after struggling trying to figure out how to put it in the car...and no we're not retarded, I went with him to the gas station. I came home and felt very blah. Each day it has progessively gotten worse. I woke up this morning with 103.6 degree fever. I'm thinking I have the flu. Blechhhh. Well it depends how much longer this keeps up. I'm thinking I'm going to have to go to the doctor Tuesday if it doesn't let up.
This sucks because I had so much homework I planned on catching up with, but you really can't do homework with such a high fever. All you want to do is lay there and die haha. It's really pathetic, but I feel great with a fever of 102. Well not great, but you know what I mean. I feel so much better, even though I'm still pretty sick. I just find it ironic.

Well I hope I feel better tomorrow : P

Friday, February 18, 2011

Sleep!

I miss you.
I didn't get much sleep this week. About 3 hours a night. I used to be fine. I would get to school and be more awake then most people. But it's finally taking it's toll. I tried to work out yesterday, and I physically couldn't. I didn't have the strength or the energy. I was doing a wall sit and slid down to the floor. I really couldn't hold myself up. It was pathetic. And I haven't been hungry much. My friend says that coencides with my sleep. So I guess that makes sense. I just feel so weak. And I'm so anxious and depressed.
Listen, it may seem fun to have control over your life. And I think that's what I'm striving for by doing this to myself, but I'm only making myself feel worse.
I need the sleep. I need food. I need to be healthy to feel good.

And I like this guy. More than I should. He is so sweet. He thinks he loves me. I don't know about love. I don't really believe in it. But he makes me happy and I make him happy.

Urgh. I wish life wasn't so...complicated. I wish I didn't have to feel this way.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Week Two!

Week One Evaluation:
It went very well in the beginning. I was exercising a lot. Eating healty. Recording everything. I didn't really do the clean breakfast because I didn't truly understand the concept. I was very good at recording food at the beginning of the week, not so much towards the end though lol. I prepared snacks, but that's what I always do.

Last week could have been better, but I'm going to work on stepping it up this week.

Week Two's Challeges Are:
1.Try a New Food
2.Try a New Fitness Class

Well I'm going to have to look up some healthy foods and try them.
And for the fitness class, youtubin' it up (;

Well we'll see how this week works out.
I hope the best to you guys as well!
Well it's been a couple days. Not much is different. I'm struggling like crazy in math, well mostly because I don't put the effort in. But that's going to change. I'm going to actually start doing my math homework. This waiting thing honestly kills me. I was up till two last night just doing math homework. Blech.
But otherwise life is good.
I went through a struggle Friday night. I started to realize how much my life has changed. How I've lost certain people. It really upset me. I couldn't understand why they couldn't be a part of my life? Like I still talk to each and everyone of them hear and there, but we're best friends like we used to be. It kills me. Why can't things just stay the way they were. I wish things were more permanent, but then again change is what makes life exciting. So in the end, I'm fine with it. I miss them. I love them. I wish they were still here with me. I wish we were best friends again. But I whole heartedly believe everything happens for a reason. They're out of my life a particular reason, and trust God. I know he has an amazing plan for me and they're not part of it right not. Maybe eventually, maybe.In the end, I know I'll be able to look back and see why. I'll see what effect their absence has for me. But till then, I need to remain faithful.
Everything has been going really well though. I had orientation at a shelter the other day. It really pumped me up for working with the animals. I am really extremely excited to just help out and make a difference for these animals. I even cried when they started speaking and showing videos about euthansia.
Anyways, I have been happier now then I have ever been in quite a while. I'm okay with my life. I'm okay with the ways things are. I mean, they're not perfect. They never will be. If I keep trying to obtain this perfection, well...I'm always going to be let down.
In the end, you have to be happy with who you are and what you have. And I am.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

So I got that snow day!
Awesome :D

So today was such a long day.
It was fun though. It's all about perspectve. Just walking in and thinking, hey today is going to be good. It's silly, but it really does make a difference. And learning to laugh off the small things. It's just great. I don't worry anymore. I don't stress.
Well I do worry about sleep. I never can get to bed on time!!! I swear it's almost 11. I either could go to bed about now and take a shower in the morning. Well I always fall back asleep in the morning and then look like shit for the whole day. So guess who's going to have to take a shower? Blech.
I think I'm going to just dry my bangs (or else they'll be uncontrollable tomorrow) and let my hair go natural. Well with some anti-frizz stuff (;
So I'm going to be tired. What's new? lol
I just love night time. It's my time!

Anyways we had another college thing. College night. It was very inspiring. It's making me look more and more forward to college. I really need to start checking out the colleges in state and learn about ones out of state. Ahh I'm so excited for college. Over a year away though :P
I just a fresh start. My best friend wants us to go to college together. We've everything together since 3rd grade. I mean it would be great to take this step together, but at the same time, I want to do something on my own. We're always together. People mix up our names though we look nothing alike.
I just want to be away from her...I feel terrible saying that. I know we would hang out a lot still, even if we went to different colleges. And we would text. And call. And webchat. So I'm not worried about losing the friendship.
It would be nice having a good friend already at college, but I want a COMPLETELY fresh start. One where no one knows me. What I'm like.
So I can start over.

Monday, February 7, 2011

What a Combination

I couldn't sleep last night.
Complete insomnia!
I layed in bed forever. My best friend called me and we talked until one because neither of us could sleep. I then wasn't tired, so I spent the next hour messing around with photography. I actually got some pretty neat shots that I'm excited about.
Today was busy busy busy. I felt like I was running from one thing to another.
School. Volunteer. Shower. Concert.
So from 6:40 (when I finally got up! my alarm didn't go off) - 8:30 I was BUSYYYY
I gotta say I love Gillian's venting at lunch (:
I find it awkward eating lunch with Tom (my ex). We have several friend in common, AKA why we all eat together. They always talk about things with me and I can feel him feeling secluded. Like today Nichole kept turningt to me and telling me how much she missed hanging out with me her "long lost friend". She kept going on and on. I mean it was nice, but I could tell it was upsetting Tom. Like I was stealing his thunder or something. I'm not trying to steal his friends, I just want somewhere to eat now that Jessica has become anerexic :P
But I'm not doing much better on my sleeping habits.
Already midnight.
I haven't done any homework for tonight. Oh well.
There's a blizzard on it's way. Less that 60 mile baby!
Snow day. CROSS YOUR FINGER, CAUSE I NEED IT!


I took over 200 pictures last night (can you tell how bored I was?)
So I'm going to go and lay in bed and delete some before I go to bed.

Oh, by the way. Have you ever had one of the days where you've been mad at someone for the way they're treating you. They keep saying stuff is going on and they'll tell you later. You lash out on them, and when they ask for a simple thing. A reassurance that you care, and you deny them that because you're angry. Only to find out something devastating has happened. A death.
Well it makes you feel like a compete bitch.
The end :/

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Week One!

Of the 6 Week Challenge!

It technically started back in September, but I'm starting it now!
Anyways, you're suppose to lose 10lbs in 6 weeks.
Or that's the challenge anyways.

Week 1's Challenges:
1. Eat a Clean Breakfast (no processed foods)
2.Prepare Snacks Ahead of Time
3.Write Down Everything You Eat

So if you're curious about this check out Sarah's youtube account:
http://www.youtube.com/user/SarahsFabChannel

She has great information on everything towards getting healthy!

Let's Jump In

Well my life is pretty uneventful right now.
My mind has become overwhelmed with the though of college! I just want to be finished with high school already, but I have a whole year left after this semester. Anyways, I think it's more the independence from my mom and also just getting out and meeting new people. I've gone to school withe same kids from kindergarden practically. It's nice to know almost everyone, but at the same time, it's kind of boring. I just want a new start, you know? Because I'm definitely not the same kid I was in middle school, or even last year.
My mom made a deal with me, I officially can own my car if I do three things for her.
1.Continue with marching band - It looks good to have extracurricular activities
2.To keep my GPA up (last semester I got a 4.1 WOOT!)
3.Go along with what my college planner lady says ( I don't even know what to call her!)

So it's all about looking good for colleges.
Keeping up my extracurricular activities.
-band
-NHS & SNHS
Keeping good grades
Volunteering
Getting good ACT/SAT scores
Applying for many scholarships- when the time comes

I just feel so overwhelmed with what I have to do the rest of this year and next year!

Seasons of Love

It's a very famous song I'm sure you've all heard.

Some of the lyrics are:
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year

In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter in strife,

In Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life

(chorus)
How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love


The song is mainly talking about how measure life.
How you measure a year.
The answer is with everything!
Daylights.
Sunsets.
(aka the title of my blog)
Midnights.
Cups of coffee.
& Laughter
But mostly- love.

This is going to be a more personal blog about what's going in my life for those who are interested.
I have two other blogs.
Feel free to check them out!

http://letscountshoulders.blogspot.com/
http://10adaykeepthedragonsaway.blogspot.com/